Baba

jhogra holo

raag holo

kotha holo bandho

abhiman er 

bhor er chote

dore tala porlo

chole gele 

roye gelo

koto kotha baki

jhogra ebar

aro barlo

tomar shathe aari

moner moddhe pushe rakha

eto kotha chilo

shobi gelo osta chole

nei jhograr shathi

Chinta

chinta amar prio
aamai niye, tomai niye
chinta korar niyom
aami tu mi sesh hole por
prhitbita shuru
tai niye chinta korte
ebar koro shuru
gaaner chinta
kaaner chinta
shohoj bhabe bhaba
chinta korar nanan niyom
jai na bhebe shara
desher chinta dosher chinta
onekei to korche
amar jonno chinta tobe
ke emon korche?
shei niye jei chinta korte
shuru korlam aami
mone holo hothat kore
aami kemon praani
chotto ei goloke
bash kori kichu bochor
chole gelam rowe gelam
bishwo chintai bibhor
taai ki bhabi aami
haashi pai shunle
kona shoman matro prani
manusher chele pule
kintu bhabe bishal kichu
korche she aajkal
bishwo hashe tomra shudhu
dekhecho totkal
amar chokhe tomra shobai
nogonno shob prani
ei roreyecho ei gecho
eto keno kanakani

growing up

hate, love and affection
threads of a similar kind
they jostle and tousle
when intertwined

then as you grow
to know your emotions
and battle it out in the end
its a sweet feel of reunion
when in the end they meld

Pencha

there once was an owl
who blinked every second
and swiveled his head
when ever beckoned

he'd gulp down mice

and be ready in a trice
to hide among robes
and nibble earlobes

oh! how I wish!
you were mine to keep
but you're prettier flying
in the dark and deep

ghore ferar daak

onek din hoye geche cherechi ghor
ghor poribortito hoyeche arek barite
chelebelar khelna ar sriti ekhon bikoy kagojer dore
khuje firchi shudhu arek ghorer thikana

ghore ferar daak ekhon
niye ashe markin desher khoniker bashate
shekhanei guchiye rakhchi notun shukh dukkho ar ashake
notun kore gorchi ek nuton poribar
tobuo pichu daak shuni kebol
fele asha ghorer sriti bholano bhar

jibon ekhon shudhui boye chole kortobbyer bhelai
bhalobasha priti sneho shob geche mishe matite
royeche shudhu kritogyo bedhito badhyota

its been many days since i have left home
home has now been turned into just another house
childhood toys and memories now sell like old newspaper
trying to find directions to a new home again

when the call comes to return home
i come back to a temporary home in a foreign land
that is where I am safely keeping my new hopes and feelings
i am rebuilding another family
and yet i still get called back
my abandoned home is hard to forget

life's raft is now overburdened with obligations
love affection fondness have all gotten trodden under feet
all that is left is obligation flavored with a diseased feeling of indebtedness.

Love list

I love when at the beach I stand near the water- I sink into the sand little by little
I love picking out the layer of cream from the top of the cup of milk which has become cold
I love my morning drive, my music, no one to disturb me, the world is outside the windows of the car
Everything is whizzing past and I am glancing, looking, moving on or swearing viciously at that bad driver
I love it when my goat curry comes out exactly the rich brown i want it to be and it tastes exactly like home
I love to believe that just like the hitchhiker's guide, the earth is a super computer trying to come up with the most important question in life
I love to believe that there is a rhyme and reason to why and how things happen in the universe
I love the thin folds on a man's neck when he bends his neck to kiss
I love hunting for rainbows when the sun comes up while raining
I love the feel of my skin when I have just waxed
I love believing ladybugs are lucky
I love Korean drama - the men in those dramas are so pretty
I love the Kiwi accent and I love the people that come with that accent
I love baba when he agrees with me
I love ma when she stands up for herself against baba
I love most kinds of animals, and I love authors who write about them
I love it when I am able to win over a particularly thorny person and make them like me
I love the feeling of marinating chicken and meat, flesh slipping through my fingers and the squelching noise the marinade makes
I love letting helium filled balloons fly off but as I watch them disappear in the distance I grow sad
It is as if I have sent out a message out there but there is no one to receive it
I love hanging out of my window on stormy nights and singing and promising things to myself,
I imagine myself to be a witch casting out spells onto the wind
I love to think that I am intelligent and cool and confident when in truth I have no idea what makes me up
I love to analyze myself to a fault
I love to find out what makes people tick,
I love the soft folds of skin on a cow's neck have you ever touched it? It's the best feeling ever
I love picking scabs- who doesn't??
I love the purring sound a cat makes when you scratch it in the right spot
I love to listen to the heavy ragged breathing of a guy when he is excited
And I love the insistent fingers with which he tries to bring you closer
I love it when on certain evenings I am so centered that I cannot think of anything except writing to my heart' s content
More than ever I love to sing and listen to my own voice belting out and beautifully melting with the atmosphere
I love working with moist clay when you are trying to make something Plasticine just doesnt cut it
And I love when I connect with someone that I really want to connect to.

WHOPEEEEEEEEEEEE :)

it is time now to put to rest
this feeling of immenseness,
the practical me
urges to savor and keep
this hope and energy
for realisation of dreams
as it helps each fetter drop
one by two by three
till there are none.
its like i'm a kid and have opened
a can of WHOPEEEEEEEEEEEE :)

I feel invincible

there is this feeling
that something is brewing
concocting greatness inside of me
it is still unprepared to come outside
it waits for the moment
to step out into the light
it fosters feelings of hope and brightness
bathing everything in an aura of lightness
it makes my thoughts start to race
my mind tries hard to keep a pace
anything is possible in this present light
all we need is the fire to ignite

Mountainview, CA

i've had a vision of me
in a sun bathed valley
in khakee pants
and a white t-shirt
handling kids of diff sorts
is this my fate ?
my luck? my destiny?
no its more its the evening that entices me
for then I see myself at work
real this time
the kind that makes marks
sitting at my desk typing away
I write my mind for others to follow
a new philosophy?
a new take on life?
who cares
i will write and they will follow
in ad-oring hoardes
till i grow tired and that is when i'll retire
to the sun kissed vales
of retired california

Black Hole

1.2 miles to roam free
to collide with others
to make energy
freedom yet set in
STERN's decree
hoping to help
emanate darkness
create the dark matter
which helped create
this universe
and yet if mathematics goes wrong
i fear most that blackness will resound
things will collapse on themselves
till the fastest of objects
even light cannot escape

freedom at 80mph

miles miles away
miles still to go
as the power lines sway
foot on the pedal
breeze on the shield
roaring ahead to eternity
post after post
holding all in place
or else the landscape around
would melt and escape
green blurs with a dark line
where road join life
on the highway side
curved turns
at 75
a few mins of powerlessness
the freedom to glide
a few mins of fear of no control
and back again
foot on the pedal raging on.

Glory Box

slip slide slink in shadow
lips hands legs skin
right down to marrow
shivers and sighs
pent up energy
forced into five mins
of cringing pleasure
every pore alive
every sense tensed
for the final release
sightless formless
the O of sensuality

a chink in the armour

I am walking down the narrow steps of the alley, its a dreary rainy cloudydizzy day. There's tin cans overflowing with water and the rain keeps spilling the water over. I can hear the sound of my heels on the metal steps - plonk plonk plonk - in time with the drops of water fallingin the can. There are two pigens sitting underneath one of the dirty awnings and making that strange noice that pigeons make when they are trying to mate. Its a deep vibrating moaning sounds almost like some one has been neaten and is now cowering in the corner crying with muffled sounds. the wind is blowing around teh scraps of paper and the dirty dripping scraps are getting slapped against my legs. Legs which do not blong here. They are smooth and silky underneath the fishnet stockings. The fierey red pumps give them a reddish glow which shines off the smooth and shiny skin. It bothers me that all the dirty water is going to stick to my shiny red pumps and a I walk faster to get out of the alley. My car should be waiting outside, warm and cushioned and ready to wisk me away from all this dirt and filth. I walk out of the alley my driver holds the door open, her has been standing out in the open all this while. His clothes are dripping wet and underneath the black blazer his white shirt has started to stick to his skin. H enods his head I look at his smoothly chiselled abs breathe in and step into the car.

The WWF benefit is going to start in another half an hour I am wondering what to do to kill time. All that I want to accomplish today has been done but there is still some left over adrenalin from before and I know that I need to spend it soon or else I'll be edgy during the benefit. And for anyone who has been around the circuit as long as I have you know that the best thing for these benefits is a dry martini, langorous eyes and a comfy chair that is placed at just the right position so as to be in front of everyone and yet not be a part of it all. Those who need to talk to me can come upto me and talk there is no need for me to put myself forward. Those days of ? are over. However that still brings me back to the problem of what to do with the buubbling bursting energy that I need to spend. I look at the back of myd river's head, I don't really know much about him. Is he married? I've never seen a ring, does he have a girlfriend, she must be very patient because God knows I make him work at all odd hours as my whims arise. Maybe she is a demure sweeet girl who does exactly as she is told. Maybe he keeps her in her place. Maybe he...........his life is of no concern to me. He has trained himself well by now, he knows my every mood and temper swings, which makes me curious as to where he is taking me. "Mark, I have teh WWF benefit in half an hour so why are we headed in the opposite direction? " I am sorry Maa,I thought you might like to look at some shoes" " My eyebrows go up at his audacity to assume that my shoes are not good enough for the benefit, " If I wanted to take a look at shoes I would tell you so" Now turn teh car around and take me to the benefit before I get late. I lie back on the seat as I feel the car turning towards teh right part of town. " Vittori Polo, the name flashes by and I suddenly know what I had been wanting o do" Mark stop the car and wait for me in front of Mr Polo's stidio.

I walk up the steps and his petite asian receptionist smiles at me shwing me in. I go to the ladies' locker room and change into the white jumpsuits and pull the mask over my head. ittori is already waiting for me in the private parlour suited up and we barely incline our heads to acknowledge each other and he charges. There is barely any sound in the studio except for steel on steel. There must be a break in the clouds because there is one single beam of light shinig into the room and I can see the dust motes dancing in it. I hear a whipping sound near my ear and his point is on my left breast." Distracted today Ms Jacobs? I've never seen you fall for that before." You were not even looking at my hands.

plea for liberty

why do I fear to be free
young and petulant
and not on my knee
for ever I recall
i follow what is right
and sacrifice desires
in dying embers all night
i killed adolescence,
i am killing youth
i must be stopped
and that is the truth

old cowering and afraid
make me come out of my shell
make me go beyond the gate
make me reach out to feel
make me live for myself
i am waiting for a guide
and this is my appeal:.
my sole is bare
and before you laid.
I am counting the days
till my youth is regained.